Friday, January 29, 2010

Two awesome things

1) This article by Mark Morford: "Why are you so terribly disappointing?"

"Big f--ing deal. We just do not care. It's all a big disappointment. Hey, I was expecting to be blown away. I was expecting miracles and transformations and multiple twitching orgasms on sight. Do not come at me with tantalizing promises only to reveal that you can fulfill most of them to a fairly good degree, and not far exceed all of them in every imaginable way. We're Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and untenable jadedness. 

Also, global warming? Total effing letdown. Americans are no longer believing in it. Do you know why? Not because the mountains of scientific proof aren't there. Not because it's not happening. But because it's not yet happening to us like they said it would in the movies and those worst-case scenario books. Where are the zombies? The ice forests? Where's the tidal wave crashing over the Himalayas? I want my goddamn apocalypse, and I want it now."

2) This list: "If Movie Posters Told the Truth" - my favorite is the Titanic poster:

Good News Friday

The lost Ninja Turtles:



(via ZanyPickle)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Rollup of Awesomeness

1) Today's Epic Win from when we were kids (uh, hell yes!):



2) Mental Floss Blog asks... is the adverb dead? ("Subway! EAT FRESH!" ... ly...)

3) I want these nerdy nerdy things featured on BoingBoing today:

Helveticookies:



ASCII love:



4) This parody is hilarious, especially if you are a Farmville quitter like me. ("Tired of games that are fun?"):

Work hard and be kind.

"To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
- Conan O'Brien



(via)

I want to be a puppy!

That's right, you forgot about the Shiba Inu puppy cam, didn't you? Well here's a dose of happy:

Video streaming by Ustream

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Conan, we miss you already...

In this clip, Conan plays real guitar along with Rock Band. Hilarious. :)


Friday, January 22, 2010

Good News Friday

Three hilarious pictures for you on this Good News Friday.

1) New NBC logo - combines the Fail Whale and the NBC peacock. Suck it, NBC.




(via Mashable)

2) Epic Firemen FAIL. (The title of this post on FAIL Blog was "Uh, fellas..." - which is even funnier than the picture.)




(via FAIL Blog)

3) In the words of Mark Twain, there are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies, and statistics. Amen.




(via PHD comics)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Quote of the Day

"May today there be peace within you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

(Thanks Alicia)

One more reason to love Anderson Cooper.

As if I needed another reason.

Read the story HERE.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

JERSEY

This is one of the best Daily Show segments I've ever seen - from last night's episode. If you haven't seen this you have to watch it, it's fantastic. The two best quotes:

"What is the worst-case scenario for New Jersey? Other than it being New Jersey?"

"It was just as our forefathers had envisioned. That one day people who had been discriminated against for their religion or the color of their skin could come together, to discriminate against people for their sexual orientation. Without the slightest sense of irony."

Enjoy:

Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

"Twoble with Twitters"

You can always count on Current's SuperNews for a funny take on things.



(thanks Nolan!)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Run Conan Run - Part 2

This is Conan's official statement on the matter. Please read it. I could not agree more.

People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,
Conan


(And read more about the debacle from the NYT here).

Run Conan Run

I've been pissed off about a lot of decisions TV network execs have made in the past, but I have to say, this one takes the cake, at least in my recent memory. NBC, you have got to be kidding me. You made Conan relocate his family, his life, and his staff to s****y (hint: not "sunny") California after Leno quit (quit, NBC! he quit! remember that???), and now you are bending to his every wish and taking away Conan's time slot to give it to him? What is this, high school theater? Are we on the show Glee right now? Let me spell it out for you: Leno. Is. Not. Funny. If I were Conan, I would be trying to frack NBC over right about now, so I really loved this clip from last night's show where he discusses his options. This one is my favorite: "Move to Fox and follow their hit show '24' with a new show called '24:05.'" Suck it, NBC:

Friday, January 8, 2010

Good News Friday

TGIF! A few choice morsels for you:

1) Imminent FAIL (via failblog)




2) WIN! (via failblog)




3) The F*ck You iPhone (via AgencySpy)

Don't get me wrong, I love my iPhone. But I found this amusing. Mostly the "audio neutralization" part. Haha.

Hmm.

1) Don't think I haven't considered doing this: "Learning to Smoke." I have. But I would get addicted. Even in just 30 days.

2) My ex-boyfriends are now all either engaged or married. And it's really weird. Not because I want to be married right now, because I don't. But it's weird for some reason anyway. Like, do I date the marrying type of guy? I don't know. I can't say exactly why it's weird, but it is. Although, not as weird as the wife of one of my high school boyfriends telling me that at 26 and a half years old I'm encroaching on advanced maternity stage. Thank you.

3) My coworkers don't know me at all. And in their absence of any real getting to know me, they make assumptions that aren't true. And it upsets me a great deal. I'd honestly rather have no interaction with them whatsoever than interaction like this.

4) I miss my friends.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Controversial (?) roundup

Here are three things that made me laugh, but potentially could offend you.

1) A brief interview with the devil / Given how he was a little busy, what with the world the way it is, and such

Here's a little secret I don't talk about much, but you'll forget it the instant I leave anyway: The world is actually teeming with beauty and life and rejuvenation, hope and awe and epiphany, every moment of every day. There is pure bliss, entire universes of knowing, pure God consciousness available in the smallest instant, the complete breath, the gentlest human touch. But you didn't hear it from me!

2) The mouseover caption on this xkcd comic was:

The BBC lead was: "The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it." I couldn't read it with a straight face.




3) From NatalieDee:


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Quote of the Day

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles."
- Audrey Hepburn


Monday, January 4, 2010

In the year 2000...

I couldn't make this any bigger, so feel free to click on it to see the full image. This is a graphic representation of the past decade from zanypickle. Funny and true.





2010

I seem to be a bit behind on the New Year's Resolution front this year, but that's mostly because I was having so much fun over the last week that it never even crossed my mind. Regardless, I made a list last night of 20 resolutions for this year. We'll see how that works. However, there is one priority resolution in an attempt to make my life in 2010 better than it was in 2009. That resolution is to get less stressed about things that happen at work, because it's not that important. Pretty much my whole 2009 was consumed with anxiety attacks about my job. It's not worth it. So for 2010, my goal is to not care quite so much about every single little thing at work... to try to just let it roll right over me. In that spirit, I've also selected an appropriate theme song for 2010 that also goes along with my recent obsession with the Beatles. Happy 2010 everyone!

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be. There will be an answer. Let it be.