Thursday, April 15, 2010

Things I don't care about

So as of yesterday I was thinking that I might try to take a break from so much Internet usage. Mostly because I was watching Weeds, and Nancy Botwin mentioned that all of this is desensitizing. Why I am taking advice from a fictional character who is also a drug dealer and a completely irresponsible parent and human being in general, I have no idea. The best I can tell you is that I just really like her. Sorry guys.

But of course that never really played out, as evidenced by the fact that over the last 48 hours I have been posting on my blog and sharing links to Facebook as well as signing up for Foursqaure (it's pretty creepy, right?), finding new blogs to read, catching up on my Google Reader blogs, and reading this article from Penelope Trunk about conflict resolution.

This article brought me to a conclusion -- maybe the reason I am not in a relationship is because I don't give a flying **** about things like paint colors. I love Penelope Trunk, but a recurring fight that she has with her fiance The Farmer is about painting wood versus leaving the wood exposed. And apparently according to the post this is a fight that most couples have. I just can't see myself ever caring about something like that. If The Farmer wants to leave his wood exposed (that's what she said), I really don't see why that's a problem. Who gives a crap?

But then I realized that domestic issues like this are things that people who eventually want to have a family are supposed to care about, right? I guess the color of paint in the place where you live matters to people. Maybe I just have a hard time relating because I've lived in apartments with stark-white walls since my freshman year in college (thanks NYC!). I know I'm a huge pain in the ass about some things (my food idiosyncrasies and my anxiety disorder and my hyper-sensitivity are three things that immediately spring to mind), but I can promise you guys I will never be a pain in the ass about paint colors.

This leads me to my next thought, which is something else I don't give a sh*t about - weddings. I know most people spend most of their lives planning out their weddings, and their dress design, and color schemes, and flowers, and venues, and hideous bridesmaid atrocities, and whatever else. Me? I'm thinking I'll just get married/have a reception wherever my parents want me to since clearly they're the ones all excited about the prospect of weddings and grandbabies and financial independence and government documents and financial independence and mortgages and financial independence. I'll wear just a regular dress - it can be white but it's not going to look like a cupcake from my worst taffeta nightmare or be purchased at a bridal shop, I'm thinking more along the lines of just picking out a cute dress at Anne Taylor Loft or Banana Republic or something, no vail - yuck those are so stupid, and I'll just have my sister as a bridesmaid and she can wear whatever she wants. Everything else, I don't really care, daisies might be nice, but if my future husband (whoever he may be - probably nobody if people read this post) wants chartreuse flowers (that's a color, right?) or bubbles or exposed wood or whateverthehell, I'm down with that, I really don't care.

Believe me, I recognize the fact that this is truly bizarre. But I honestly don't see myself changing my non-opinions about any of this once I (if I ever again) have a boyfriend though. Engagement rings - people care about this stuff. Me, I couldn't care less. Why spend tons of money on a ring? I don't get it. Just pick out whatever one you like. The fact that these normal things that normal people care about just do not make any sense whatsoever to me speaks volumes about the fact that I must be seriously messed up I guess.

Does all this make me less of a girl? It would be one thing if it was just paint colors and floral arrangements, but I also don't like shopping, or buying shoes, or talking about purses. I don't get it. I'm not a tomboy by any stretch of imagination, people would probably call me a "girly girl" with my prairie skirts and baby-t's and sundresses and my pink guitar. But clearly there is something wrong with me.

I guess the upside is that since I haven't been in a serious relationship since I moved to NYC 4 years ago, I don't really need to worry about any of this anyway. (Again, thanks NYC! You're a real f****ing pal.) Since I don't care about paint colors but I'm the only one who has to listen to me not care about it, it doesn't matter anyway, right? But I'm just saying. One would think that in the future I may be in a relationship again, at some point, if I ever move out of this city. I guess I'll just have to find someone who looks past my anxiety disorder and also doesn't mind the fact that I don't care even a tiny inconspicuous amount about these normal things that society tells me I am supposed to care about.

God I'm so emo right now, I should just make an indie movie about my life. Debate about the photo below among yourselves, I'm going to go read.


Ben said...

You know I'm with you on all of this, especially weddings, Nancy Botwin and, ahem, exposed wood. I look forward to watching your indie movie on Netflix Instant.

You use the word "normal" alot (<-- you're welcome) in this. The psychologist RD Laing once wrote that "the condition of alienation, of being asleep, of being unconscious, of being out of one's mind, is the condition of the normal man...Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last fifty years..."

Also, this is the internet. You are allowed to say f*ck.

Lisa said...

:) Thanks Ben. I knew you'd understand.

Rusty Cage said...

I know it amazes my wife how much energy is expended when planning for a wedding. She makes snarky remarks about L.I. women who seem to have a pie-in-sky mentally about the whole shebang.

Long story short, you're hardly alone in your feelings about weddings.

Lisa said...

Aw good, thanks Rusty!!

Emily said...

As much as I care about paint colors, I think I only do because they're my walls, not walls that I share with someone who will fight with me over a shade of blue.

I'm glad that someone else doesn't give a shit about weddings. As incredibly odd as this sounds, I've started deleting friends from Facebook once their status updates are focused on bachelorette parties and dress styles. I used to feel bad about it, but meh. They made their choices.

Penelope Trunk said...

Great title for the post. Even though I care a lot about paint colors, I don't care about weddings. I went to mine (yesterday) in an old dress and I did not shower. I did not intentionally not shower, but in the end I had to choose between kids being clean and me being clean and the kids were way more noticeably dirty.

Anyway, my point is that I think we each pick a few things to care a lot about and we let the other stuff go. And the world is more interesting because we don't all pick the same stuff.