Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Facebook: where every day is your high school reunion

My 10-year high school reunion is coming up this year, and suddenly the people who constantly made fun of me amid those hallowed halls (who all won various high school elections and are therefore in charge of the reunion -- ah, the memories) are coming out of the woodwork.

I've received Facebook friend requests from several of them, one of which came in yesterday. I find it interesting that they didn't notice that we HAD been "friends" on Facebook at one time... in the good old days when Facebook first went public and was inaccurately recommending to them that I'm someone they might "like" -- oh Zuckerberg, how wrong you can be -- and I had no idea what was going on so I just accepted everyone's requests whether we were really friends or not. In turn they never realized they had been promptly de-friended once I got my wits about me and figured out that there was no reason for me to be "friends" with people I was never friends with in real life, and no repercussions for their deletion since they really didn't know me at all.

When messages are included with their requests, they usually go something like this: "Ohmigoddd how are youuu?!?! What have you been up to?!" ...In the last 10 years? Oh, not much... ??... "I miss high school, don't you?!" ...Uh... not really, thanks for that by the way... "I hope you're going to the reunion!!" There it is. "We should totally get together, OMGzzz!!!!"

... Wait, we should GET TOGETHER? Um look, I'm all about letting bygones be bygones, but if you didn't want to "hang out" with me when you sat next to me in the same classroom in high school, what on earth makes you think we should hang out now that I live hours away from you and we officially have had nothing whatsoever in common for the last 10 years? How did you picture it working out, did you want me to come to your apartment for the weekend, or were you hoping that instead of hanging out with the people who were actually nice to me in high school on my next trip home, I should spend time with you and your friends who all mocked me throughout my formative years, just for the hell of it? Do you even have my phone number? I guess I'm just having a hard time really envisioning the logistics.

There are a lot of people who were always hoping for attention from these lovelies, but unfortunately I was never one of them, so I am getting nothing out of this except irritation. Sometimes I see people who always wanted to be cool "liking" these people's posts on Facebook, and I think, YOU DO NOT EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER, what are you doing? Which leads me in a roundabout way to my point.

I'll preface this by saying Facebook is great and anyone who is friends with me on there has probably figured out by now that I am clearly addicted to it. But on that note, Facebook is seriously the worst. This is drama I wouldn't have to deal with if Facebook didn't exist. I feel like it's a John Hughes movie, and I am being set up for some elaborate scheme where these people "friend" me and then everyone laughs at me in the lunchroom. In my old age I realize that I am just being paranoid and that people's glory days ended in high school and this is a way to try to get it back. But thanks to Facebook, it's in my face. Why do we even need reunions these days anyway? I can go find, in an organized fashion (occupation, relationship status, interested in: men/women/both) what's going on in all these people's lives. And I still see/talk to the people I like. I don't really need the rest of the updates, in person or online. It used to be that your 10-year reunion was really the only time you'd have to deal with your classmates after graduation. But with Facebook, every day is a f***ing reunion. And the dynamics of our high school seem to be playing out online. The more things change the more things stay the same.

But maybe I'll be a surprise to them anyway. Because little do they know, adulthood has given me the freedom to be even more geeky and bizarre than I ever dared to be in high school. FTW. So here's a someecard for the road, I'm off to listen to the original Carousel record on my turntable, or to watch a documentary about origami, or to read the autobiography of Mark Twain. While deleting friend requests. Suckers.


nicoleshoe said...

i love this and completely go through this almost every day.

Erik said...

The problem is that I find people view high school one of two ways:

-the most miserable, socially awkward 4 years of their existence that they'd love to just have selectively removed from their memory.


-the best

I'm in the former category and there is really not a lot of middle ground here. Combine that with the social dynamic of The Book, and you've got some pretty weird interactions.

Lisa said...

Glad you guys can relate!